Why I didn't wish you a Happy Women's Day

I cried myself to sleep last night. I haven't done that in years, even decades... wait... have I ever done that before? I don't remember. Maybe back in '87 when my maternal grandpa passed away!

There was no personal reason this time though. I was simply blown to bits watching the news for 15 minutes. On the eve of Women's Day, NDTV was covering some gory rape cases that happened across states within the last two days.

Delhi seems gone beyond redemption. Gang-rape in an auto-rickshaw between 8 and 8.45pm! In a completely open vehicle driving around in the city roads, past 7 police check-posts and a toll-booth. And a stolen vehicle at that! It's like going anatomical and suggesting to the judiciary a safe location for their tinted-glass rule.

And in Kerala, a street-dweller's 3-year old kid. A 3-year old! A small beautiful baby. It's a baby, you monsters! Some years ago we were making such a fuss about the street dogs in Bangalore, but exactly what kind of wild animals are these that are roaming around on our country's streets?!

The protests took place less than 3 months ago. The commission appointed came out with a brilliant report. The government simply took some low-hanging fruits and implemented them. What has changed? Nothing, as it seems.

There is still impunity among the perpetrators.

And why not? A large percentage of the legislators who have to pass these laws are rape-accused themselves, including the Rajya Sabha speaker! The statements that these statesmen make defending themselves don't show any indignation of having been accused of the crime. I see only an arrogant "let me see you prove it" attitude.

And quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Some years ago we all saw images of the strutting policeman walk out of jail after clearly driving a kid to death. We saw other policemen on video say "they had it coming" to women who were raped. They had it coming just because they stepped out of their houses. But how about what happens within these houses, as it has been coming out with alarming frequency these days?

Ok, the government is impotent, the policemen are corrupt, but we are a democracy right? We have a parliamentary system where there is an opposition coalition which should question the government right? We have teachers, educationists, philosophers, authors and sages, highly competent and learned people all over the country right? What are they saying we should do about this?

 

Until now the recommendations have ranged from all girls needing to wear baggy overcoats to women not speaking to men at all when outside to the President's son ridiculing the protesting women as being 'dented and painted'. The opposition said something about a 'fate worse than death', got ripped apart by the media about it and promptly shut up. I didn't see a peep out of them after that. Even if you take it up as a political opportunity, they could have come out with a plan of how they are going to tackle this menace if they come to power. But they seem to be the people who want all women to keep their ghoonghats and hijabs firmly on top of their heads in the first place.

Then there is the media. Though I should admit that yesterday I saw genuine anger amongst the reporters who were talking about this, most of the time I only see the glee of increasing TRP in their eyes!

"THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW!", bellows one specific gentleman. Most of the time only he wants to know.

I want to know only this. What can I do about it?

What did we do about it last time? Went out on the streets and protested. BTDT. Didn't work. Be  the change that I want the world to be? At least I hope the women around me would acknowledge that I already am not one of that mentality. What else can I do? Bring up the next generation to believe in this equality? Rocking the cradle right to rule the world? That's fine but that's leaving it for too late. What can I do NOW to bring in changes?

I may not be a creative solution finder.

I only find myself fantasising about vigilantism. I want to round up these guys when they are attempting these acts and hang them up on tress all night by the balls. I find myself making Wile. E. Coyote type plans for what kind of threads/ropes can stand that kind of weight without them slipping through and falling before the sun rises.

I find myself thinking about details of how there can be an secret organization trained to be invisible and catch these single or gangs of potential rapists, spread terror amongst criminals throughout the country and make it a safe place for women and children. An organization of "Indhiyan" type of persons who know some secret martial art to paralyse these villains.

How many such people will be needed? I read that in 1972 during Bangladesh's birth-pangs, around 3 lakh women were raped. 3 lakh women rapes over a couple of months would have required at least 10 thousand men to do them? That's a country of the size of the neighbouring Indian state. So how many such people are there in India on an estimate? How many people of unwavering, incorruptible characters would we need for this vigilante organization to succeed? Is it practical? No. It's not.

How far are we from making this country, or making even one small city in this country safe for women to go out even during the day, wearing what they want to wear, being happy and free without being afraid of a jerk on the train trying to feel them up? A few parsecs away, I think.

I felt totally helpless. I thought about having to wake up in the morning and having to wish my wife, my mom, my cousins, my sister-in-law, my women colleagues and my friends across the world a happy Women's Day.

I felt totally useless. I cried myself to sleep.

And that, my wife, my sisters, my sister-in-law, my mom, my mom-in-law, my aunts and all my lady friends, is why I didn't find the courage to wish any of you a Happy Woman's Day this morning.