“I've come up with a set of rules that describe our
reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born
is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re
fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can
probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is
against the natural order of things.”
― Douglas
Adams, The
Salmon of Doubt
In eighth or ninth
standard, we had an essay by R.K. Narayan called "Toasted English".
He 'roasts' - in modern terminology - the gimmicks and contrivances that
Americans have reduced their vocabulary of English words into. He even starts
from the word "Yeah" and says how it cannot be used to address a
person, as in "Yeah sir" or "Yeah darling".
I might not have had
clearly formed ideas, but my general feeling was that this uncle – albeit an
accomplished English author uncle – had a problem with such English usages 30
or 40 years ago, but they seem fine to me today! And I dismissed it with that
"these old people!" kind of a sentiment. Did I dismiss it though? I
don't seem to have done so because I remember it to this day, 40 years later!
Clearly it must have struck a chord somewhere, as I ended up being an
ultra-pedantic grammar Nazi myself!
Surely, what DNA says about technology in the above quote
is also true about language usage, irrespective of the language in question! I
myself (Yeah, I know! I’m only using the reflexive pronoun for emphasis!) used rebellious
new terms while in college, which my parents and aunts disapproved of, while today,
I turn up my nose against SMS lingo or seemingly dumbed down GenZ usages,
which are high-key sus AF that I would like to yeet them out of the window, no cap!
“Basis” is my new pet-peeve. “Basis your assessment, we are
taking the candidate through to the next round”. Cue uncontrollable gnashing of
my teeth and a gargantuan urge to take the marker to the whiteboard for an
impromptu English lecture. I will come to “impromptu” soon.
Did older people react the same way when everyone started
using “cue” the way I have used it above? Should I have said, “That is my cue
to uncontrollably gnashing my teeth…”, instead?
I cringe each time I hear “Basis” used in this manner. It
should be either “On the basis of…” or “Based on…” not just “Basis”, surely!
But I have now heard it being used by, not only Indians and
Germans, whom I regularly work with but also Americans, and – inexplicably, to me
– Britishers. I must now reconcile to the fact that all the new-fangled MBA
types will continue to say, “Basis this audit report …” and I will continue to
wince in grammatical agony.
Another word, which is not a matter of usage or opinion,
but simply wrongly used, is “improvise”. There is no forgiveness in heaven or
earth for this.
“There are a few open bugs, but we will improvise the software
in the next version”. What?! Here we are with a full-fledged Product Manager,
Program Manager, processes for design, development, unit, integration and
system test cycles and so much time and money spent into automation; and we are
talking about improvising the software”!
Here I haven’t been able to hold back. There is no end to
the number of times I have individually and collectively lectured people on
this word, but I don’t think anyone understands. They just give me an incredulous "Ok boomer uncle!" look and move on with their life, improvising everything!
OED says:
Improve:
to become better than before; to make something/somebody better
than before.
Improvise:
to make or do something using
whatever is available, usually because you do not have what you really need There isn't much equipment. We're going to
have to improvise.
Such is the life of the pedant.
Nowadays, if you say it out too many times, you get to hear about how we should
embrace people from various backgrounds and how English is not everyone’s first
language and we should respect that diversity, etc. So will I be shut up and so
will nobody improvise improve.
